English Oddities:
The English language is quite odd.
It must've been a different sort of sod,
Who thought this mess all out.
He really didn't know what talking was all about!

After all more than one mouse is mice,
But on my block we have houses not hice!
A goose can fly with a bunch of geese,
But in Canada I have not seen a herd of meese.

One man and a male friend make men,
Then you know as well as I that pan ain't ever pen.
I put a foot down and stand on both feet,
But I wear some boots and definitely not beet!

I pull a tooth and have a gap in my teeth,
But at the fair they have booths not beeth.
This is one and two or more are these,
And I get one kiss but I don't get several kese!

How about a brother or a group of brethren?
Where as a lovely mother won't meet methren.
Then there's pronouns he, his, and him,
But you shan't say she, shis, and shim!

As you know it's tough with words like bough,
Whooping cough, and cookie dough,
And another thing you can start to hate,
Is how people take boats straight down the strait!

And why doesn't nose sound like lose?
Why, tell me, is it goose and moose, then choose?
I still haven't got a single, solitary clue,
And they tell me I've been talking since two!

- Adam Schmidt
The poem 'English Oddities' by Adam Schmidt talks about how the English language is strange in its pronunciation sometimes. He gives a list of words that look similar but are phonetically different. He wonders who thought of all these phonetic arrangements. The past tense of man is men, but the pan is not pen. Mouse is mice and house is not hice, rather it is houses. The plural of foot is feet, but the plural of the boot is boots. After giving examples of plurals, he took the examples of pronouns. The masculine pronouns are he, him, his, but the feminine pronouns are not she, shim or shis. He also gives examples of similar-looking words like bough, dough, nose, lose, which are pronounced differently. He still has not figured out all these, in spite of having spoken from the age of two.
State Council of Educational Research and Training 2019. Term 1 English Standard - 10. English Oddities - Adam Schmidt (pp. 49). Published by the Tamil Nadu Textbook and Educational Services Corporation.